Rss Feed

Chapter 1 - Our Story

I never thought I’d be writing a book on homeschooling—in fact, who would have thought that we’d be homeschooling our children for eights years strong and counting?

Yet, I can’t imagine going back and doing it any differently.

I remember Maria and I laughed a little bit at the start and joked that we were morphing into “mountain folk”—that’s how backwards our concept of homeschooling was back then. Surely only families who wanted to segregate themselves from mainstream society would advocate homeschooling for their children, right? Wrong!

In many ways, it seemed like Maria and I were taking gigantic steps backward from what our generation had come to expect and strive for: two incomes, a big house, multiple cars, exciting careers, traveling the world, 1-2 kids…

Instead, we were surviving (survival is the key word) off a single income (the husband’s at that—so not PC), living in a modest-sized house, driving a hardworking ’97 Dodge Caravan with over 236,000 miles (and counting), spending more time on family than career (where’s that corner office now?), taking a vacation every 3-4 years, and oh, did I mention, having four kids!

What were we thinking?

Well, by some divine intervention, Maria and I ended up doing the smartest, most fulfilling thing that parents could ever hope to do for their children—homeschooling.

I would be lying if I said it’s been a breeze—not quite. But, we’ve spent more time with our children than probably most parents spend in a lifetime. These are precious years that flash by in a blink of an eye. I’m convinced that Maria and I will look back and thank our lucky stars that we had this opportunity to spend productively, educationally, and lovingly with our children—worth more than all the bikes, vacations, cars, and big-screen TVs I could have bought them if we took maybe a more conventional path.

Now, I can’t help myself—I’m a total homeschooling evangelist. I light up when I talk to other people about my family’s experiences—and trust me, my enthusiasm is contagious. Conversations that start off with, “Hmmmm, interesting,” and eventually end with, “Wow, that’s really terrific,” have convinced me that more people might benefit from the homeschooling experience if only they had the courage and inner trust to take the plunge—or in our case, dumb luck!

The title of this book is not made up—many parents I speak to are quite enthralled by my homeschooling escapades and they all think Maria is a saint to be both parent and teacher (not to mention dependable chauffeur) to our four children separated in age by only a couple years. But, almost without exception, the conversation ends with, “Oh, but I could never do that,” followed quickly by, “I simply don’t have the patience.”

We said the same things ourselves, and yet here we are eight years later with a good 10 years more ahead of us (Nicholas is only four).

Maybe you simply need a little more nudging from a couple who took an unexpected detour off the fast track and never looked back. Read on.

1.2 - Looking for Private Schools

First up—Nameless Private School Number One.

Over dinner at a friend’s house, we listened to a couple, who were extremely pleased with Nameless Private School Number One—excellent, rigorous academic program, disciplined students (I’ll come back to this one in a moment), and strong test results.

Sounded good to us.

Later that week, we made an appointment to visit the school. A very soft-spoken woman (I’ll call her Mrs. Smith) welcomed us to the school and steered us and a group of other parents into a large seating area.

There, we were greeted by Reverend John.

“Let me start off by saying that our school has a very strong academic program and that our students consistently score high on statewide tests,” Reverend John said.

Sounded good so far.

Reverend John continued for approximately three more minutes expanding on the strengths of their academic program.

But, then the shift happened.

Reverend John began the fourth minute of the meet-and-greet with, “Now, let me share our discipline policy.”

Yikes, what was this?

“We firmly believe in ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child.”

Hmmmmmmmm. I’m listening.

“At our school, we have a very strict discipline policy. Let me explain the process.”

He went on for about ten minutes on the levels of discipline: 1) verbal counseling, 2) letter to the parents, and 3) a formal spanking in the principal’s office (paddle and all).

Hmmmmmmmm, I’m not liking this anymore.

It was not lost on me that Reverend John spent about 10 minutes on their spanking policy (oh, by the way, Mrs. Smith would handle all bad girls—comforting, not!) and less than half that time talking to us about their academic program.

Let’s just say that Maria and I ditched them during the classroom tour.

Next up, Nameless Private School Number Two.

Now, this was a nice little school—located a few miles from our house, this school had a fish pond, a small library in a playhouse, classrooms with lots of activity, attentive, kind teachers, and an animal petting area.

This school required a lot of parent participation—nice—and encouraged families to work and interact together.

As we continued through the school tour, we encountered a classroom in which the children were busily working on a science project.

Now, science is definitely a topic of interest for Maria.

As she watched the activity unfold, Maria whispered over to me, “Jeez, is this what they consider a science project.”

“I guess,” I whispered back.

Maria wasn’t really being snide—she was more surprised at the simplicity of the activity used to demonstrate a scientific fact. I think she thought it would take a lot more ingenuity and effort.

We finished up the rest of the tour and got in our car.

“My goodness, even I could do that science activity,” Maria said, weighing the pros and cons of what we would actually be paying for with our private school money.

“Why don’t you?” I replied in my typical combative tone.

My response lit a fire.

“Fine, I will.”

Enter homeschooling.

1.1 - Alexandra’s Pre-School Experience

It all began with Alexandra.

Maria was a stay-at-home mom and I was a self-employed instructional designer writing training programs for several large companies in the Bay Area. Maria just had Cameron and needed a little respite from our darling Alexandra.

We picked a pre-school about two miles from our house and figured Alexandra could go a few days a week—just enough time for Maria to regain her sanity.

For the first month or so, it seemed like a perfect plan. Alexandra was enjoying being around other little kids, and due to necessity, potty-training followed quickly behind. Alexandra, with her cute, short bob-cut and relatively shy demeanor (at least around other kids), seemed to be hitting her stride.

Then one day, Alexandra shared with me that the other little girls thought she looked like a boy with her short bob-cut and that her shoes were ugly. Now, Maria and I were not prepared for this kind of cattiness at such an early age—high school, maybe, but pre-school? Give me a break.

We started saying those typical parental phrases, like, “Well, just ignore them,” and “They’re just jealous,” and “Obviously, you don’t need friends like those.” Well-meaning, yes, but did it solve the problem? Not exactly.

This went on for about a year. It wasn’t all bad, mind you, but with kindergarten just around the corner, Maria and I started getting concerned—translation, panic. If pre-school could intimidate my daughter, just imagine what the public schools were gonna do? With her shyness, we were afraid the other kids would eat her alive—maybe a wee bit over-protective looking back on it, but whatever the rationale, we were convinced we had to do something fast!

We pulled out the phonebook and started looking for private schools.

1.3 - Considering Homeschooling

“Did you know that Antioch Unified School District has a homeschooling program?” I said as I zeroed in on a listing entitled, “ENCORE Homeschooling.”

“No, I didn’t,” Maria replied.

We continued our research and stumbled upon a program option that had been available for a couple years to families who wanted to homeschool their child, but with public school support. Approximately 70 families in the area were already participating.

Maria made an appointment to visit the program coordinator. She explained the specifics: 1) The parent is the teacher, 2) The children are still part of the school district—no loss of money to the public schools, 3) A credentialed, extensively experienced teacher would be assigned to our family to work with Maria on lesson plans and overcoming any problems, 4) We had to turn in lesson plans to our assigned teacher, but they would be responsible for all other paperwork—nice, 5) The homeschooling teachers and parents also provide supplementary classes like art, writing, and science, if we wanted to participate, 6) State testing was available—not required—if we wanted to monitor how our children were performing and progressing against state standards, and 7) Our children could take advantage of public school programs on an ad hoc basis, like speech, music, and sports, if we wanted to participate.

Hearing no real disadvantages, we signed on the dotted line and dove into the homeschooling waters. We were treading water from the get-go and never came close to drowning—an important point to keep in the back of your mind as we journey forward.

1.4 - In Antioch, We Had ENCORE!

And just like that, Maria was homeschooling 5-year-old Alexandra.

Maria met with her assigned teacher, Leslie, who has been with us for eight years now—please don’t retire until we complete middle school (grin). Leslie was born and raised in Antioch with over 30 years teaching experience throughout the Antioch Public School District—in other words, we were work working with a seasoned pro.

Along with Erica, Irene, and Cynthia—ENCORE teachers working with other families—we never felt isolated and the transition into homeschooling was no worse than the first day of kindergarten! I sometimes wonder if our decision to homeschool from Day One didn’t make everything easier—that old adage, “You don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone” never applied to us. All I remember is that once the decision was made, it was no better or worse than picking a school for your child and running with it.

This is another important point for parents who see homeschooling as a challenge more on the level of climbing Mount Everest—granted, it’s no walk-in-the-park, but it’s not Olympic-caliber either.

1.5 - Still Going Strong

And how did our lives change?

Maria shops at stores that cater to teachers like it was a Wal-Mart. Our kitchen walls have remnants of art, history, and science projects taped on them documenting the daily learning that takes place in our house. Maria points out the different cloud configurations as we’re driving in our car—cumulus, etc.—as the kids eagerly catch a glimpse. Maria and Alexandra visit a make-up counter to learn more about colors and talk to the make-up artist about her job as part of a study unit on our local community. Cameron reads quietly in the living room, not as a punishment, but because he’s eager to find out what happens next to Harry Potter.

Brandon can spend hours watching a hermit crab move across the sand or a cocoon blossom into a butterfly—learning the cycle of life—and joins Maria in the backyard to release the butterfly, who only has days left to live at that point. Nicholas glues cotton balls to a Christmas drawing that leads to a family discussion about snow and weather.

Cameron lies on butcher paper—provided by ENCORE—as Brandon and Alexandra outlines his body. Later, Cameron’s outline is hanging up on the family room wall with colored construction paper cut-outs of the heart, kidneys, esophagus, and brain glued anatomically correct—obviously a lesson on the human anatomy.

Maria does love her science.

As I explain to family and friends, homeschooling has become part of our family ritual. Not surprising, our children are a close-knit bunch.

Don’t they fight? Of course they do, just like any other kids. But that’s just sibling rivalry in the home.

When we’re in public, that’s a whole different story—laughing, smiling, inquisitive, protective of one another, friendly with other people, respectful of others around them in public restaurants, comments from other people on how well-behaved the kids are, long rides in our van without any fuss.

Now I’m sounding like a parent bragging about his “little angels.” I won’t lie to you—I’m extremely proud of my children and my wife for making this all work.

Homeschooling has brought many benefits to our lives: individually-tailored curricula, one-on-one teacher-student ratio, control of our time (no running around from school drop-off to work), kids sleep in (it’s got to be unnatural to wake children up at six in the morning because we adults have to be at work by eight!), and learning has become just part of our overall family experience.

But of all these benefits, the shear volume of time parent and child are together has provided immeasurable value to our family—the true worth will compound in the years to come.

Without a doubt, the greatest gift to our children has been our time.